by Neal H. Mayerson, Ph.D.
Chairman, VIA Institute on Character

I love YouTube.  Someone recently turned me on to a Keith Jarrett video by sending me a YouTube link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eq0EWNuR1H8 ).  For those who may not know, Jarrett is an amazingly gifted pianist who plays mostly in the jazz genre.  He is a master technician and improviser.  He is capable of firing off machine-gun-paced riffs as well as hesitating on spaces between notes to create dramatic tension.  I am sharing this link to his rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow to make some points about character.  Upon watching this video here’s what you’ll notice:

• A person playing the piece instead of letting the piece/score play him.  How often in our lives do we take the script that others give us and play out their version of us?  This happens all too often.  Instead, we can think about how we can take the basic requirements of situations and infuse our own character into playing them out.  Jarrett honors the melody and structure of the song while at the same time making it his own. Think of doing the same in your life – adding your character to situations and relationships.  Play your life instead of having it play you.  This video clip is about Keith Jarrett more than the composer Harold Arlen.
• Modulation.  Our character strengths can be played strongly and softly.  Certain situations call for us to blare them while others require a more nuanced application.  Develop dexterity with your signature strengths (your top 5 strengths as measured by the VIA Survey of Character (http://www.viacharacter.org/VIASurvey/tabid/55/Default.aspx) so that you can play them well in different situations.  The perseverant, critically-thinking litigator needs to come on strong in a courtroom, and may need to soften those strengths in handling an argument with a spouse.  Watch Jarrett lean into some notes more than others to wring out his most perfect self-expression.
• Song choice.  This is a song so embedded in popular culture that the subject matter of the song is known without actually singing the lyrics.  If birds can fly over the rainbow, why, then oh why can’t I? Why can’t we all form aspirations and work towards them? My top signature strengths of character are creativity and perseverance. I create and persevere like birds fly.  It’s what comes naturally to me.  We all can fly over the rainbow.
• Engagement and Meaning.  Jarrett doesn’t use the music to show off his technical talent.  There are no amazing riffs or complicated derivations.  Instead, he tries to perfectly apply his strengths of talent and character to the inherent beauty of the song to create maximal engagement and meaning.  In watching him there is no doubt of this.  This matching of strengths and activity is what I refer to as a “power zone.” When we construct such an experience for ourselves we experience an amazing sense of “aliveness.” Find your power zones in life.
• Beauty.  Play your life as beautifully as you can.  That’s what Jarrett demonstrates in this clip.  He simply sat down with the aim of playing that song as beautifully as he could.  In the moments of your work, your relationships, your leisure time, find beauty.

Find beauty

Each day,

Push it forward,

Let it play.

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by Ryan M. Niemiec, Psy.D.
Education Director, VIA Institute on Character

I do not know much about music. I know nothing of music theory and have never taken a single music lesson for any instrument in my lifetime. That is, unless you count a 4-lesson stint of voice lessons where my adolescent fantasy to be the lead singer of a grunge rock band came to a squealing halt; my teacher solely taught me diaphragmatic breathing, which differed so much from my visions of singing to a rowdy audience in a small, tightly-packed venue, that my perseverance was severed.

But, all is not lost as along came the guitar, nearly two decades later. Through encouragement from my wife, mother, and guitarist brother, and fueled by a desire to make something of the vacant musical areas of my brain, I began guitar lessons. I have only had two meetings with my instructor but I’ve noticed something fascinating emerge in me. After making a commitment to weekly lessons and purchasing a mid-price range, acoustic guitar (Seagull), my love of learning strength has skyrocketed.

I feel as though I’ve been jolted back to formal learning in the classroom (which I loved) and all I can think of is: How can I soak up all of the material? How can I make sure to remember every morsel of instruction? Will my fingers’ muscle memory translate from lesson practice to home practice? How can I efficiently learn to read music, understand guitar tablature, develop my musical ear, master the mechanics of playing, and learn some songs to keep me motivated…all at once? Having lessons for a mere 30 minutes per week seems like hardly enough to quench this thirst for learning. And it isn’t enough. So, I practice and practice and attempt to learn beyond what was taught to me. This desire (and follow through) for informal learning seems to be good evidence that my love of learning strength is rising.

Love of learning consistently comes in as a middle-ranked, character strength for me, never in my top ten. It has been ranked #17, #12, and #12, across three administrations of the VIA over a three year period. Perhaps it doesn’t arise in my top ten because I value other character strengths more? Sure, I’ve always deeply valued learning; after receiving my doctorate in psychology I had to hold myself back from almost immediately entering another doctorate program (I repeatedly said to myself: “You must wait a minimum of 10 years post-doctorate before you are allowed to pursue another degree”). I apply my love of learning at work and in my relationships (at times). Learning the guitar seems to have stroked a very different chord in me, quite different than my learning in the social sciences, or my trying to “learn” from my mistakes in relationships.

My signature character strengths nicely complement my love of learning in this situation. I can use my appreciation of beauty and excellence by admiring the elegance of the guitar, reflect in admiration of the craftsmanship of the wood and the precision of the internal supports and the strings of the instrument, marveling at the sounds that emerge when different notes are hit. No doubt my curiosity strength is satisfied by the novelty of the “newness” and the infinite possibilities that can be created; my curiosity is only quelled by redundancy or by thoughts of “I’m just practicing the same thing. There’s nothing new here!” It is then that my signature strength of hope is cued as I think about future formal and informal learnings, the various ways I will be able to use the instrument, and the potential songs that will be played on it.

My love of learning strength has almost immediate begun to manifest in different forms. I re-watched Amadeus (1984), the film depicting the passion and creativity of Mozart, and fell deeply in love with the film, more than typical for most films I watch. I’ve begun to listen more closely to radio songs for the guitar rhythms and riffs. I’ve begun to feel a growing confidence that I will be able to play certain songs, a confidence I’ve always wished I could muster for music, but never previously have.

All of this from a middle character strength? How exciting!

I also reflect about what is of pivotal importance with learning a new activity (or building up a character strength, for that matter), that is the question: How will I maintain this practice over the months? Said another way, how will I persevere through the obstacles, difficulties, problems, lethargy, and even boredom that will no doubt ensue?

My answer…will come in a future blog after I’ve collected more data.

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By Neal H. Mayerson, Ph.D.
Chairman, VIA Institute on Character

I love the Winter Olympics.  What I love is the drama.  Each and every athlete has decided to dedicate the bulk of time in their lives to their sport – becoming the best athlete they can become.  They spend hours upon hours, day after day for years and years, practicing…practicing…practicing.  Focused.  Determined.  Fighting through pain and injury.  Preparing for “the moment” when everything gets put on the line.  It’s nerve-wracking and hence dramatic to watch.

As Andre Agassi’s recent book reveals, there may be more athletes than we know who mostly hate every minute of preparation and competition, driven by some neurosis or dysfunctional parent-child relationship.  But there are others who are right in their power zone where their talent and character feel perfectly aligned, and playing their sport is where they feel most fully and authentically alive.  Though they have dreams of gold medals, dreams are not what fuels their engines.  The concrete daily reality of feeling fully alive I think is the fuel that drives them down the long road of preparation and competition.

Let’s face it.  By definition only 3 competitors in an Olympic event get onto the medal stand.  The rest of the field does not.  And so it goes with every competition outside of the Olympics.  From college to high school to grade school sports competitions.  I heard today that about 3% of high school athletes go onto play college sports, and that about 2% of the latter go on to make a living for a at least a bit in professional sports.   That relegates all but a very few to engaging in all the hard work for reasons other than grabbing the brass ring… standing on the podium.  (Or else we’re all pretty stupid.)

And sports are just a microcosm of the rest of our lives.  One of us … just one… can be the best amongst all others.  But all of us can become best versions of ourselves.  Finding activities in life that allow us to project ourselves into the world in our fullest form is the great challenge.  I have a quotation framed up in my office that is attributed to the French writer Emile Zola… “If you ask me what I came into this world to do… I came to live out loud.”  Doing things that engage our strengths of talent and personality is an important pathway to finding a fulfilling and authentically happy life.  No matter what we’re doing, we can find our own best expression.  That’s how we all become winners in life.  That’s how we can all feast at the table of engagement and purpose, and not find ourselves malnourished by a steady diet of cotton-candy dreams of gold.

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by Neal H. Mayerson, Ph.D.
Chairman, VIA Institute on Character

Today I asked my veterinarian tennis buddy about how they judge dogs at the Westminster Dog Show.  He told me that the judges have in mind an image of what a perfect form of each breed looks and acts like, and then they go about trying to find the closest approximation to that ideal.  And, he said, it is a highly political process since winning such a coveted prize has significant monetary rewards to the owner/breeder of the winning pooch.  I love dogs, but I don’t like the Westminster.  One year I attended the dog show and went backstage.  What I saw was what appeared to be relatively lifeless dogs waiting to go on stage and being primped in ways that I imagined would have to be embarrassing to them if their “ordinary” brethren happened by.  Nothing felt wholesome or authentic.

My dog Mugsy would never win a dog show, though I think he comes pretty close to being perfect.  Perfectly Mugsy.  He obeys a bit but mainly when it doesn’t matter.  His teeth are worn down from persistently unraveling the chain link fence that confines him in our yard.  He licks a lot, pushes his tennis ball under furniture on purpose, and is impulsively too aggressive with other dogs.  But, he is a character.  Perfectly himself.  He puts smiles on the faces of all who know him and he wiggles his whole body when he sees people he likes.  What you see is what you get.

I’m like Mugsy.  I won’t win “best of breed” nor am I interested in that as a goal.  I could approach the VIA Classification Of Character Strengths as a roadmap to human perfection… to build each and every character strength to a high level and thereby become about as good of a version of a human being as may be possible.  Or, I could approach my results from the VIA Survey in a comparative way, with an aim of being higher on strengths than anyone else.

These approaches are of no interest to me.  I just want to be like Mugsy – as truly myself as I can be.  Perfectly Neal – with my innate and chosen traits trumpeting loud and clear.   I have my part to play in the symphony of humanity and my job is to play it great.  My goal is to focus on my strengths and play them off well against the strengths of others.  From day to day I move in and out of duos, trios, quartets, and full piece orchestras, always aiming to play my part to the hilt and give meaning to the playing of others.

My “best me” is not equivalent to simply my “natural me.”   My challenge is to find my strengths of ability, character, interest, and resources, and to weave them together into a rich resonance.  Practice them.  Learn when to use them in full force and when to use them with nuance.  What gives music and life character is the variations in tempo and loudness.  There’s a time to play forte (loud), and a time to play piano (soft).  And fitting my notes with the notes of others requires full awareness and sensitivity – mindfulness.  Living well is an art that no one masters and it is a team effort – not a solo.

Maybe someday I can win “Best of Me” and “Best of We.”  But, in the meantime, I just look forward to getting together with folks and playing our hearts out.

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Written by Neal H. Mayerson, Ph.D.

For this, and other articles by Neal, go to http://www.viacharacter.org/MayersononContagionofCharacter/tabid/308/Default.aspx#learning

I have been sympathetic to some criticisms of positive psychology as being too “self”-centered – focusing on how individuals can make themselves happier or otherwise improve their own lives.   It can appear that positive psychology is a continuation of a “me-me-me” egocentric, self-indulgent culture.  There may well be those who are consuming information from this new discipline in that spirit – to feed their ego.  I got into this whole endeavor, though, to improve the world and there is reason to be hopeful.

Albert Bandura (1969; 1986) made a foundational contribution to psychology in explicating the phenomenon of social learning.  We learn so much by observing others around us and we do much of this automatically.  As I have read findings such as the recent study by Fowler and Christakis (2008) on the spread of happiness in social networks, or Haidt’s (2006) research on the phenomenon of “elevation,” I have wondered to what degree social learning is at work.

Is it true that if we are happy we make others around us happy?  If we act altruistically does it cause others to be more likely to do the same?  Aren’t we wired to look around and mimic the behaviors and mannerisms that seem to be valued in our immediate culture and that seem to produce desired outcomes?  Though, as conscious beings with free will, we may choose otherwise, we all tend to find our own social cultures to which we then adapt by adopting cultural values and behavior.

This is the basis upon which I have hoped that a focus on building and broadening individuals’ use of character strengths will improve not just individual lives, but the lives of those around them.  From the beginning, the VIA Institute focused on identifying the basic elements of personality that account for most of what’s best about human beings.  And, speaking for myself only, I had in the back of my mind that building up and building upon character strengths would spread throughout the world via this process of social learning.  Each time a person strengthens his or her expression of character, that person sends  a ripple effect to the social world around them.  In that way, building a better world is not simply accomplished one person at a time, but instead is a process that leverages social networks and social learning.

Additionally, the VIA Institute is not simply depending on this individuals-based process of contagion for improving human behavior but also is interested in building better organizations and communities through a focus on character strengths.  David Cooperrider (2009), the founder of Appreciative Inquiry,  has been pioneering this work with businesses, helping them consider the character strengths of their employees as they pursue their business goals and aspirations.   And, community organizers are exploring the extension of John McKnight’s asset-based community development work by integrating VIA’s character strength work.

Applying knowledge of character strengths to personal growth, organizational development, and community organizing are ways that positive psychology is aiming far beyond ego-centrism to the broader vision of creating a better world.

References:
Bandura, A. (1969). Social learning of moral judgments. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 11, 275–279.

Bandura, A. (1986). Social foundations of thought and action: A social cognitive theory. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall.

Cooperrider, D. (2009). The discovery and design of positive institutions. Presented at the International Positive Psychology Association conference on June 20, 2009.

Fowler, J. H., & Christakis, N. A. (2008). Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network:
Longitudinal analysis over 20 years in the Framingham Heart Study. BMJ, 337, 1-9.

Haidt, J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis: Finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. New York: Basic Books.

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The 3-part, PBS series, This Emotional Life, hosted by Harvard social psychologist Daniel Gilbert, recently aired and it has gotten a significant degree of buzz, certainly in positive psychology circles. The first episode focused on our relationships, an important topic since this relates more to our happiness than anything else.  The episode focused on attachment, friendship, and romance. First noted was the classic study by Harry Harlow showing that baby monkeys would choose a fake cloth mother without food over a wire mother with food, due to that innate, biological desire for warmth and closeness. Next came friendship and the research by social psychologist, John Cacioppo, who has found that loneliness is just as bad on health as smoking; loneliness is associated with heart disease, diabetes, dementias, suicide, and accidents. Last but not least was romance: In one experiment, those couples who spent 5 minutes performing a novel, challenging activity had a substantial increase in their reported love for one another. Just 5 minutes!

Taken together, this episode is addressing the character strength of love. VIA reminds people that this strength of character is a two-way street, it means both the capacity to give love to others and the capacity to receive love from others. These capacities are innate, each with a biological and evolutionary base. Scientist Ellen Berscheid (2006) adds a fourth type of love that fits the bill but was not discussed in the documentary: compassionate/altruistic love. This type of love, also seen as the VIA character strength of kindness, has been associated with scores of benefits such as happiness, health, and longer life (Post & Neimark, 2007).

The episode was optimistic about the ability of humans to have an impact on each of the love types. For those struggling with any dimension of love, here are some suggestions for getting started:

For Building Attachment Love:
In even those children who have not developed a healthy, secure attachment with their caregiver, this can be taught by nurturing, understanding, and showing the child that he or she is cared for. Consistent nurturing is the key: Feeding, play, touch, and other nurturing activities should be repeated at the same time each day. This helps to build the child’s trust. Help the child express their emotions and then look for them to express emotions; when they do, respond to them.

For Building Companionate Love (Friendship):
Fight, but fight fair. Do not avoid conflict. Go toward the conflict rather than away from it because avoiding or suppressing the problem might make it worse. As Harvard scientist Richard Hackman notes, conflict captures the different perspectives of the individuals disagreeing and it captures the purpose of having a group in the first place. When you disagree with someone, slow yourself down and listen to the other person’s perspective. Shift from thinking “How will I get them to see my point of view?” to “How might what they are saying be true?” Often we need to go through conflict in order to deepen our relationships.

For Building Romantic Love:
There are several ways to think about this that range from building in closeness and intimacy, restoring commitment, working toward healthy sexuality, and communicating well. Yet another way: Make life exciting. Building off the study mentioned earlier, couples should take time to do novel, challenging activities together. This creates a sense of exhilaration, and when it is done with one’s partner, this positive euphoria is then associated as happening in the relationship.

For Building Compassionate Love (Kindness):
To build in this type of love is simple: Just give more. Stephen Post has found that giving reduces mortality, reduces adolescent depression and suicide risk, helps us forgive ourselves more easily, and predicts who will be healthy physically and mentally 50 years later (Post & Neimark, 2007). Another way to build this type of love is to write down and count our acts of kindness each day. This helps us maintain a focus of being kind to others; when this is on the forefront of our minds, they act of writing down our kind acts can be a reinforcer to do more in the future.
References:
Berscheid, E. (2006). Searching for the meaning of “love.” In R. J. Sternberg & K. Weis (Eds.), The new psychology of love (pp. 171-183). New Haven: Yale University Press.

Post, S., & Neimark, J. (2007). Why good things happen to good people. New York: Broadway.

Let’s face it. It’s hard to decide to spend the time and money on an immersion learning experience these days.  The VIA Intensive takes two full days, plus the evening reception the night before. But it’s a cocktail party and honestly, how bad can that be?  So, with Chicago under our belt, we have some feedback that we’re on the right track.

The professionals who attended the Chicago Intensive rated it with an overall 4.8 out of 5 — very, very high.  Here’s what they had to say:

What an exciting time I had. I am still in the clouds so to speak. I am reliving moments and especially thinking about the movie clip Mongolian Ping Pong. I am telling everyone about my experience. I could go on and on. Honestly, it was worth the trip. You three put on the best training I have ever attended. .MC Psychologist from Oregon

Great mix of learning modalities…BT, School Psychologist

I thought I knew this stuff but I was just lapping at the edges of it.  It’s really big….NS, Organizational Consultant

From our perspective, we love meeting you and finding ways to make your work easier and more fulfilling. We hope you decide to join us in Washington, Sydney or Melbourne.

And next year, what locations will work for you?  We’re getting calls for the UK, Toronto, the West Coast of the U.S. and South Africa.  Want to weigh in? Leave me a comment!

Thanks for all you do.

Deb Pinger,

Executive Director

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